Sunday, December 30, 2007

2007 in Music

Yes, it's list time, children. Here we go:

Favorite albums released in 2007:

  • Snakes and Arrows - Rush
  • Fear of a Blank Planet - Porcupine Tree
  • Systematic Chaos - Dream Theater
  • Rapid Eye Movement - Riverside
  • The Heart of Everything - Within Temptation
  • Dark Passion Play - Nightwish
  • White Darkness - Nightingale
  • Silent Waters - Amorphis
  • The Roundhouse Tapes - Opeth
  • Xecutioner's Return - Obituary
  • The King Of The Grey Islands - Candlemass
  • Gothic Kabbalah - Therion
  • Faith - Eyes of Eden
  • United Abominations - Megadeth
  • Immortalis - Overkill
  • Live From Radio City Music Hall - Heaven & Hell (Black Sabbath)
  • Over The Under - Down
  • Black Rain - Ozzy Osbourne
  • Gambling With The Devil - Helloween
  • Paradise Lost - Symphony X
  • Year Zero - Nine Inch Nails
  • Humanity, Hour 1 - Scorpions
  • Born Into This - The Cult
  • Structure and Cosmetics - The Brunettes
  • Astronomy For Dogs - The Aliens
  • D-Sides - Gorillaz

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Things Me No Like!

I don't like and am greatly angered this Season by:

  • Holiday advertising. Particularly, Kay's Jewelers, Zales and Jared's. Evil, satanic jewelry ads encouraging men to go out and blow their hard-earned buckazoids on a piece of coal which has been compressing under ground for thousands of years, then dug out by Africa's version of rednecks. Dumb. Even dumber are the ads. Every kiss does not begin with Kay, Zales is simply an obscure name for "Drunken Ass-Wart" and Jared's is well known for substituting crystallized whale snot for diamonds in order to pump up profit margins.
  • Oh yes, the Hyundai ads. Multi-colored transsexual elves on acid standing around singing "duh duh duh". Yeah, that really makes me want to go out and by a low-quality piece of crap car. Not!
  • No one has killed that wanker John "Sheep Love" Mellencamp. Still. What's wrong with this country?
And now, back to my regularly scheduled schlocking...

Friday, December 14, 2007

Thoughts For a Friday Night...

I'd like to thank PDC and their thoughtful, kind policy of forcing employees to come to work no matter how ill they may be (unless by some miracle they've gutted it out long enough to accrue sick time...)

So we all go around sharing our colds. Great. I know what I'll spend all weekend doing. If anyone wants to know what to get me for Christmas, try a WWI mustard gas mask on eBay. I'll use it, I swear.

On a musical note: apparently Iced Earth (ie, Jon Shaffer) has unceremoniously dumped Tim "Ripper" Owens in order to make way for the return of erstwhile vocalist Matt Barlow. While I truly love Matt's unique vocal style, I can't help but feel very badly for Tim. This is the second time (the first occurring with Judas Priest) that he's gotten screwed over.

I wish the best for Ripper Owens and hope that he lands on his feet. Maybe he should stick to solo output from now on, instead of taking another "replacement" job.

As for Iced Earth... well, I don't know how to feel about them (again, really, Jon Shaffer) at this point. I'm sure the sequel to Framing Armageddon will be quite something with Matt back. But the whole thing is very bittersweet, at best. Definitely a big stain on Shaffer's reputation...

On a better note, I watched "Bubba Ho-Tep" again tonight. Awesome movie. Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis (R.I.P. Ossie...) sweet job. And a great soundtrack. You need to watch this movie.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

We Bring Ye Ancient Tidings Of Frog Tongues

Saturday. The Friday night shlock fest hangover.

Not literally, of course. Terms of my parole don't allow me within eighty-five miles of alcohol or aluminum bats at any given time. I told them repeatedly I didn't think it would work in reality, but I was told to shut up, collect my things and hit the road.

It's snowing. Since I do like to take the occasional bath/shower and drink water, this is a good thing. However, driving in the stuff is a bad deal. If it gets nasty, I'm not going anywhere. Monturf will just have to wear potato bags this week.

Everyone do themselves a favor. Run out and get Twisted Sister's "A Twisted Christmas" CD. Sweet stuff. Much better than ManwichheimlichenssteinmanueverRoller whatever they call themselves.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Yes, More Sports!

Hello there Fellow Crack-heads of Cujo-onia.

Yes, it has been remarked to me that much of my recent ranting involves sports. Until February and the Super Bowl, it's just the way it is. And more so, when Great and Stinky Evil like the New England Fudgepacker-Patriots arise.

So, I owe an apology to Travis Henry. He was innocent after all. Of course, the NFL made him wait months and months to prove it. I'm starting to think the NFL's shield logo should be replaced with a swastika, considering the way they operate things.

Speaking of which, the Monday night game: reminds me of the bad old days of the NBA when the refs were tripping over themselves to make sure Michael Jordan and the Jordanettes were winning. Did the Ravens do themselves in? Sure. Did the officiating make sure it would happen? Yes.

Anything the Patriots have done or will do this season has no credibility.

And now on to non-sports things. As my great-great-great grandfather, Cornelius von Booglehofken the 23rd said, "Any country that would let a sick, degenerate pervert like Hillary Clinton run for president is doomed."

Time to get our Mexican citizenship, folks. They head up here, we'll head down there.

See you in Cancun.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Salt Lake City/Jazz Fans...Pathetic Losers...

I guess I gave the folks living up north waaaaay too much credit. I actually thought Derek Fisher would get a warm reception in last night's Jazz-Lakers game. Instead, he was booed the entire night.

How pathetic. The man has a right and responsibility to take care of his baby girl. If the facilities to do so are in Los Angeles instead of Salt Lake, so be it. It was embarrassing, utterly classless behavior by Jazz "fans".

Then again, we are talking about the city who put the incompetent, narcissistic buffoon Rocky Andersen in as mayor. Twice.

I've come to the conclusion the world would be a better place if Salt Lake City were removed from the face of the earth. Anybody got a few hundred thousand metric tons of explosives they'll loan me?