The Potato Song

Beware the Potato, Potato Woman
She thinks she's the greatest thing, you see...
But she's so damn fat she needs
A specialized NASA shuttle toilet to take a pee

Beware the Potato, Potato Thing
So ugly she'd make God forget
How to speak, think or sing
(Nature really screwed this one up)

Run, run, from the Potato Beast
She's nosy, she's bossy, an' she'll eat
At one sitting, at least five hundred pounds
Of holiday food, feast feast feast!

Oh the Potato, why won't she just die?
Why does she insist on making us
And all the whole wide round world
Sit down and cry?... I'll tell you why!

God says he ain't responsible
And Satan, he don't want her back
Is there a giant cosmic toilet
Where we can flush her down, Mack?

The Potato, The Potato, The Potato
She makes stinky green baby shit soup look good
The Potato, The Potato
Pray to the high heavens
She ain't in your neighborhood...